Oh high and holy King of heaven. Oh maker of all things, my
strength, my one hope. Lord shore me up, address every cell in my body,
fortify, solidify, temper, renew. I am failing, I am falling under the waves. I
gasp for breath but more water pours into my lungs and I panic. I cannot bare
this load. I cannot see this through. I am flesh and breakable, crumbling bone
under weight that mountains cannot hold. Lord you are the only lighthouse in my
storm. It’s not the babies, I am so blessed by them, it’s not the death, I am
happy that he is whole. It is the ever present darkness that stains, that ruins
in this world. It is the evil of sin that comes to corrupt your process of
growth for my twins and my own heart. It’s the possibility of death and
sickness. It is the evil that is a snake wrapped around my soul ever causing
evil thoughts and words to slide from my lips meant for praise. It is the
separation from you that this world brings that crushes me, that makes my
shoulders sag and my knees creek and my eyes flow as a fountain. But I know and
I pray for patience in this time that you are ruining me to remake me. You are
a wrecking ball to this neat life of mine but on the rubble you are building palaces
, temples, holy places paved in gold. You are ruining me so that you might be
all that is left. Lord ruin the me in me. God give me patience in light of the
wreckage. Afford for me great endurance, great strength. I have no other resources. I have no other
source of hope. I am in a place where this is ever clear, ever true. It is you,
only you that I need. It is you only you who can help. My Savior. I rejoice in
your name because it is a tower of hope, a monument to the future. You are
making all things NEW! Oh what a glorious truth. Come Lord Jesus, come quickly!
Come set the captives free, come set the lonely in your royal family, feed the
hungry Jesus, clothe the naked, comfort the widow, restore her love to her, be
the father to the fatherless, bind the wounds of our bodies and our souls! Lord
Jesus win the war, prevail in the final battle on the hill, wipe away sin and
darkness with your light, with your glorious and marvelous light! You are
shining brighter than the stars that you placed in the sky with a song of your
breath. You are restoring, unrecognizably changing our hearts and our minds.
Lord let us not fall under the waves! Hold our heads up with your mighty hand.
Breath a song into our hearts that will last a thousand years and more. Lord
give us a song, give me a song of praise, of joy. Let me sing of my freedom, of
my coming King. Lord let me sing of my blessings and my hope for eternity. My
own breath is not enough for this song. I need a breath of life from the lungs
of my King. Breath in me oh breath of God. Spirit fill me until my lungs
stretch to capacity. New life, new lungs, new heart, this is what I need. I ask
for nothing less than a miracle, restoration of this dead flesh I walk in,
renewal of these broken and weary bones. And Lord let me come into your courts
soon. Have your way but I pray it is soon. What a great reward that will be.
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