If you have small
children, you likely understand what it is to be grateful for a small singing
tiger who entertains your child while you shower for the first time in five
days. He doesn’t do anything scary, he is kind, he is introducing very basic
Jesus following principals. I have been heard saying multiple times I’m sure ,
“God bless Daniel Tiger” because I’m thankful for him. After all, we are all children and so, many
of us have not even learned these basic Daniel Tiger lessons (insert finger pointing at myself). I have
received conviction from Daniel Tiger before in regards to sharing, cleaning up
after myself and going to bed at a reasonable hour, and sometimes when I feel
so mad that I want to roar I take a deep breath and count to four. It’s hard to
grow up, especially while fighting against this sin epidemic that has touched
myself and everyone around me. One thing that I am asking God to teach me most
lately is to be thankful. It’s not really hard for me to be thankful since I
have so so much to be thankful for. It is easy to be thankful for those things
that the world validates as good like a house, a car, food, clothes, love, friends,
a husband, tea, down comforters… the list goes on and on. I am surrounded by mostly
good. I could easily fill my heart and mind for days in being thankful and
acknowledging these good things that God has given. But the principle of
gratitude doesn’t stop at all things perceivably good by me and by the world.
It goes a little deeper. To be thankful for the things that God has given that
are not so perceivably good is what takes us a little deeper into the heart of
Jesus. Is this really possible and is this really something God asks of us?
Some things that are not perceivably good are still reasonably easy to be
thankful for. I am thankful that I have thousands of diapers to change because
it means my three babies are healthy and it’s teaching me to have a servants
heart, what a joy. It’s easy for me to be thankful for sleepless nights because
it gives me opportunity to pray and worship. It’s easy for me to be thankful
while I am cleaning my floor for the thousandth time in one week because I have
floors and a house and beautiful babies that dirty them. But some things that are not perceivably good
are really really bad and are so much harder to be thankful for, like illness,
unbelieving family members, the loss of a loved one. Here is where I come to my
struggle and I think a struggle for many. I don’t want to be thankful about death and illness and separation even
though these are things that God has permitted and are part of His plan for the
sanctification of my heart. These things are what the introduction of sin into
the world has birthed. What started as a seed in a simple act of
disobedience has now gestated and is being wretched out in a hideous picture of
pain and suffering that we now see in the world. But let me assure you, I’m not
confused about a command of gratitude even for these hard things.
1 Thess 5: 16-18 Rejoice always, pray continually, give
thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Rejoice always, give thanks in ALL circumstances; not only when its easy or vaguely hard or
when you feel like it…… always. Always, find a way to say, “though you slay me
Lord Jesus I will trust in you and I will worship you because of the choices
you have made for my life and the circumstances you have allowed and ordained
for the goodness and betterment of my soul.” Every moment of our lives is
dripping with God ordained love, unearthly teaching, righteous workmanship and
a father whispering, saying, shouting, “come to me! I am the way! I will bring rest
unto your soul!” and how do we say,
“yes” to Him? By giving thanks. By trusting that He is good. He is still good
when children die. He is still good when pain stays. He is still good when
tidal waves come, when bombs are dropped, when death prevails.
I have been thankful that most of the time, for the past two
years since I lost someone that I love, that
God has given me wisdom and strength to choose joy in this pain, to
thank Him for that death. But sometimes I fail and I am not thankful for it and
that ingratitude ushers in a spirit of ingratitude that latches on to things
that I used to find easy to be thankful for and things that even the world
perceives as good and easy to be thankful for. Ingratitude is sin in every
circumstance…every single one.
Yesterday we drove
out to central Oregon for a family vacation. This is a place that for me is
dripping with memories of my childhood vacations with my dad. The smell of sage
will forever more make me teary I think. At home I’m safe from these good good
memories as I encounter the same tastes and smells and scenes for the most
part. But whenever we go anywhere but home new memories arise and I have a
choice; praise God for the blessings or be ungrateful for not having things the
way that I would have chosen, with my dad here and not in heaven. The grumpy
set in on the drive as I thought about how wonderful it would be to see my dad
with my girls and my son, how much joy they would have brought him and how much
it would have brought me to see them hug and snuggle and laugh. If you knew my
dad you can imagine how much intense joy two little identical girls would bring
him. I can be resentful about not getting to see that joy on his face, not
getting to have what would have been a huge amount of help from him just
holding them while Reed and I took a nap when they were newborns. He could have
been there to help teach my son to fish and watch my girls get married, the
list is miles long down a road that only brings pain and anger “God you took
that from me” I said in my head. “I’m ungrateful for this path you have chosen,
ungrateful for the death of my father.” And my choice to be ungrateful made me
ungrateful about pretty much everything for the next twenty-four hours. It was
miserable. But God is so patient and good that He disguised Himself as a little
cartoon tiger so that I could hear Him more clearly. Last night as I was
holding my son and we watched Daniel Tiger, God spoke to me like I was a little
child. Daniel Tiger was playing with his toys and he didn’t want to stop and go
to bed because he was having so much fun. Daddy Tiger knew what was best for
Daniel, for the sake of Daniels health and happiness he needed to stop, obey
and be thankful for all the fun he had and rejoice in the choices his father
was making. They sang “That was fun but now it’s done” and my chest tightened as I thought about how
much fun I had with my dad in this life. Jesus sang to me in that moment “That
was fun but now it’s done” and as the show finished Jesus said through Daniel
Tiger, “But I’ll be back when the day is new and I’ll have more time with your
dad for you, and you will have things you will want to talk about, I will too”
What a blessing, what a Father. He is gentle to me. I am so thankful. He gives
and He takes, blessed be the name of the Lord Jesus. Come quickly new day, come
quickly King Jesus.
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